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[Table] IAMA Agoraphobic and I have not left the house since I was 11yrs old. I am now 21. AMA

2012.05.18 20:20 tabledresser [Table] IAMA Agoraphobic and I have not left the house since I was 11yrs old. I am now 21. AMA

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Date: 2012-05-18
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Questions Answers
My old man would probably be very disappointed if I was scared of outside, especially if it was triggered by such a minor event. How did you dad feel about knowing you'll never have much to contribute in anything but your work and do you think he'd be disappointed watching you get old in doors? My father was extremely proud of my accomplishments and to even suggest I am a disappointment to him especially since he is dead is quite rude. I feel sorry for you that you are unlucky enough to have a father who might be disappointed in you for suffering from a mental illness.
What exactly have you contributed to the world?
Says the guy afraid of grass. You've been a real dick in this AMA. What, you and no one else haven't?
What caused your fear of the outside world? Was there a moment when you knew you never wanted to leave again? Is it a risk association with the outside world? Or is it the outside world in general? Also, the mods are going to request proof, so I'll be that guy and say it. PROOF. What caused your fear of the outside world?
I believe it stems from being attacked at eleven years of age with an iron bar by some kid with ADHD. I have since developed other fears along with having a panic attack in public and embarrasing myself.
Was there a moment when you knew you never wanted to leave again?
Yes, I started to have panic attacks, and from that experience along with developing other fears I decided I would rather not leave the house.
Is it a risk association with the outside world? Or is it the outside world in general?
Just the outside world in general. I have a long list of fears which I can avoid by not going outside. Also, the mods are going to request proof, so I'll be that guy and say it. PROOF.
I am not sure how I can prove I have agoraphobia? It's psychological so nothing physical I can show you besides medication to treat it?
PROOF OF ANXIETY MEDICATION : Link to imgur.com
I'd imagine medication and diagnosis paperwork should suffice. But you have to talk to the mods. I can provide medication etc but diagnosis paperwork does that even exist in the 21st century?
CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE AGORAPHOBIA! =D.
How's that medication working? I have not had a panic attack in a pretty long time so good?
CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE AGORAPHOBIA! =D. This is how Dr. Nick would break the news. HELLO EVERYBODY!
Oh I thought you said you only get panic attacks when you go outside? Do you get them at other times when you are not outside? Yes, I can get them suddenly with no warnings at all.
What is daily life like, what exactly do you do for entertainment/productivity? What is daily life like, what exactly do you do for entertainment/productivity?
How long do you imagine you can continue going without ever leaving? How long do you imagine you can continue going without ever leaving?
What sort of public relations work? I have a disease that makes it terribly hard to leave my house and have been looking for at least something to make pocket money with via online work. I specialise in Crisis communication and reputation management.
Have you recorded any of your violin music? Not leaving the house for ten years must give you plenty of time to practice. I bet you're pretty damn good by now. I have never recorded any of my violin music. I would say am pretty good.
But you go to the office? that's leaving the house no? I call the place I work from at home the office.
Get yourself a microphone or a video camera, get Internet famous, and collect dat theoretical currency. EDIT: I am also curious, not just a jackass. =D I will record some audio later today and share it.
I can't get it because I don't have internet. Would you be so kind as to bring it to my house? Please? :/ DAHM YOU! I will post it.
1) So is it so severe that you can't set one toe out of your house, or is it about being on your property and you can go on your lawn and all that? So is it so severe that you can't set one toe out of your house, or is it about being on your property and you can go on your lawn and all that?
What happens when you order a pizza and the delivery guy comes? What happens when you order a pizza and the delivery guy comes?
Have you ever fell outside? Have you ever fell outside?
Do you have a back garden that no one can see that you could sit in? Do you have a back garden that no one can see that you could sit in?
Have you ever played any sports or been to like a concert? You say you dislike war but here you are playing violent games were you kill things like Skyrim and something tells me you have played some FPS? If you literally couldn't leave your house would you want to? I mean if you were like trapped. Have you ever played any sports or been to like a concert? I played sports before I was 11, No I have not been to a concert. You say you dislike war but here you are playing violent games were you kill things like Skyrim and something tells me you have played some FPS?
Have you ever Snowboarded? Have you ever snowboarded?
Ever felt rain touch your skin? Ever felt rain touch you skin?
If you literally couldn't leave your house would you want to?
Some jails will do this for you. And feed you. These things you could "jails" sound of interest to me. I shall check these out :P.
What are your plans in life? What are your plans in life?
Do you care that you might not be able to support yourself as you get older? Do you care that you might not be able to support yourself as you get older?
Do you already have a home job? Do you already have a home job?
Do you like your hot sauce mild, hot, or flaming hot? Do you like your hot sauce mild, hot, or flaming hot? I have never tried hot sauce. What do you reccomend?
No, you really haven't supported yourself. Your parents were the one's who is keeping the house over your head, the electricity running and all the other bill's paid. No, you really haven't supported yourself. Your parents were the one's who is keeping the house over your head, the electricity running and all the other bill's paid. Excuse me... I said since I was 18 + No my mother does not pay my bills or keep a house over my head. It's my house. If you plan to start your own firm, you're going to have to fill the paperwork which means going out of your house and eventually meeting other people. Nobody is going to spoon feed you your entire life. :/ I just have to register with Companies House, and HM & Revenue... all of which is done online. I already have successfully registered as self-employed. I have not been spoon feed my entire life. Stop giving up and I sincerely hope you don't rely on other people to do stuff for you. I highly suggest getting the help you deserve and actively do things that are out of your comfor zone because you're being selfish to the people that are going to be stuck taking care of you AND most of all you're being selfish to yourself. FU! No one takes care of me, and I have asked nothing of anyone. I 100% fully financially support myself + No one is taking care of me I see a psychologist once a month who I pay for... its her job. Did I mention I own my own house? I do not live with my mother.
If you plan to start your own firm, you're going to have to fill the paperwork which means going out of your house and eventually meeting other people. Nobody is going to spoon feed you your entire life.
How do you own your own house if you haven't been outside since you were 11? I lived with my parents till I was 18, and than got a job in Public Relations doing crisis communication and reputation management and was approved for a mortgage.
Did you buy a house without ever seeing it then? I imagine moving house would be pretty traumatic for an agoraphobe? I literally moved down the road from my mother, I was able to see pictures and got the courage to view the house etc.
How do you plan to make money? How do you plan to make money?
Do you have friends? Do you have friends?
Do you experience similar reactions from friends, family, or anyone you may tell about this, as I've seen a bit so far from some comments here, about how you need to basically suck it up and get over it? I'm amazed how some comments are just stupid attacks on you. I'm sure you were prepared but, I'm sorry, for the internet. Do you ever hear a comment like "just get out there, you don't know what you're missing" that makes you think about pushing the limit, some amazing phrase? Or does this just push you deeper into 'the cave', sometimes/always/never? Do you experience similar reactions from friends, family, or anyone you may tell about this, as I've seen a bit so far from some comments here, about how you need to basically suck it up and get over it?
Not really. I'll get the odd comment but besides that not really. I do not expect someone to understand why I am the way I am.
What are these small goals? Small goals for me would be things like walking into the back garden or walking to the local shop.
Do you have IRL friends that you interact with? Do you have IRL friends that you interact with?
Do you have a job/what is it? If not, what do you plan on doing for money? Do you have a job/what is it? If not, what do you plan on doing for money?
Do they just sit in your house? We'll plan things to do in advance, so were not just sitting around.
Do you have a desire to eventually be comfortable with going outside? Do you think about your phobia frequently throughout the day, or is it something you can ignore? Does your partner experience a similar fear? Thanks for sharing. Do you have a desire to eventually be comfortable with going outside?
Yes, of course I do. I am aiming to be able to visit my fathers grave and once I reach that step I feel I can tackle others.
Does your partner experience a similar fear?
No. He is 100% supportive though.
How do you get groceries? This wonderful invention called online grocery shopping.
You have no idea what the outside world is like. You've only been "outside" once in how many years? I was outside my entire life up until I was eleven years of age, and once when I was nineteen to go to my fathers funeral.
Do you still open windows and look outside? Is it just being outside that bothers you or looking outside as well? Yes, I open windows etc and look outside. It's the act of being outside and the fear of having a panic attack.
How was it when you were outside? even if it was for a funeral? I was too busy mourning the loss of my father to notice.
So despite you having a phobia that restricts your life in such a HUGE degree, it was pretty much eliminated because you were mourning? You didnt NOTICE the outside? Obviously I noticed was outside. Just a question have you ever lost a parent? If not than perhaps you will not understand the sheer grief and emotion that rushes through your body. I wanted to be able to attend my fathers funeral, and if that meant going outside and popping more pills than linsay lohan than so be it.
Im not saying this AMA is a fake, but maybe youre making your condition more severe than what it really is.... I am not exaggerating the condition if that's what your getting at but I do not expect someone to understand or accept who I am. I just thought it would be entertaining to answer questions all day.
How would you know wether youre exaggerating or not? You may read all about people on the internet, but you dont really ever meet any. How can you relate to other people by saying that, and that you dont expect anyone to understand? How would you know wether youre exaggerating or not?
Sorry but it sounds fishy. You would not know I guess you have to be able to experience it and put yourself in my shoes. You can never know for sure if anyone is exaggerating anything if were all perfectly honest. I do not expect people to understand because some people cant fathom the idea of never going outside as some people cant fathom gay marriage etc to some people they can't get their head around it and for others they can begin to understand.
What was it like attending you father's funeral? How long were you out of the house? The funeral lasted a couple of hours, and I was too busy mourning to notice.
Do you know what you are missing out on (from our perspective of missing out on) by not leaving your house? random example: going to a ball. Do you know what you are missing out on (from our perspective of missing out on) by not leaving your house? Yes I am fully aware I am missing out a lot in life, but the fact remains I just do not care. I am happy and thats all that matters. For those that you do know you are unable to do, are there any that you would like to be able to do? I would like to visit my fathers grave, and that tortures me inside.
For those that you do know you are unable to do, are there any that you would like to be able to do?
WITH THAT SAID, how did you manage to get a job in public relations? Did you have to interview for it and what was the process like? How did you manage to get a job in public relations?
Are there any natural wonders or scenery that you would like to one day travel to see? Which is to say, do you actually think anything in the world would be worth travelling to view, even if you weren't afraid to go out? Are there any natural wonders or scenery that you would like to one day travel to see? Which is to say, do you actually think anything in the world would be worth travelling to view, even if you weren't afraid to go out?
Do you have any pets to keep you company or friends that visit often? Do you have any pets to keep you company or friends that visit often? Yes, I have a pet cat, and I also have a partner, but yes I have friends that visit often.
Ah thought you might take this the wrong way: not criticizing you but just curious. I can see plenty of great ideas of never leaving the house (though personally, I would more like, MOSTLY not leaving :)). Just your fathers grave? otherwise totally satisfied it seems? "I just do not care" Yeh =D I owe it to my father to visit his grave.
How did you meet your friends and partner? I met friends through home-schooling and I met my partner through mutual friends.
Ever consider exposure therapy? It might work wonders :-) It has been mentioned to me. My psychologist mentioned it once when I stated I wanted to visit my fathers grave.
How much do you weigh? 156lbs.
How did you start in freelance PR? Do you have regular clients? What work is involved in PR? How did you start in freelance PR? Do you have regular clients? What work is involved in PR?
You said it's not legal for you to marry your partner, so I can safely assume that you are gay. Will you leave the house to vote in the upcoming elections? Will you leave the house to vote in the upcoming elections?
Do you ever plan on having a girlfriend & eventually getting married? I am living with my partner and its not legal for us to get married where were from.
So once it is legal are you willing to leave the house to marry your partner? I would consider it, and would need to prepare myself.
Do you/ have you ever had a girlfriend or even experienced any sexual contact? I experience regular sexual contact with my partner of four years.
How'd you meet? I met him through a mutual friend who came to visit.
What exactly about the outside world scares you? What do you do at home all day? Do you never get lonely? I watched a documentary on this a while ago. The woman in it wanted to be able to go out, meet her family etc. Do you feel the same way, or do you simply want to stay inside your home for the rest of your life? I have answered all these questions in previous questions.
I'm a journalism student that would love to get into freelance PR. Where should I start? I would personally contact a lot of smaller firms that specialise in niche markets and just ask for internships though don't expect to get paid.
Agoraphobic isn't about fear of people ? I mean, can't you go outside at night when nobody is outside ? It's different for each individual their are a number of factors/fears that cause agoraphobia.
What happens if you need to go to a Doctor? The doctor comes to me.
You have never needed surgery or anything that cannot be done at home? Nope. You would be surprised what services you can pay for and receive treatment at home for if you pay for it.
How you find that relationships work when you are in a situation like this? Do girlfriends just end up spending a lot of time hanging out at your house? If so, how do you even find them in the first place? How you find that relationships work when you are in a situation like this?
I guess it would be different for each and every relationship, I am currently in a relationship with another male and I have given him the option of being able to sleep with other men or date other men if he so chooses I have nothing against but as of yet he has chosen to stay in a monogamous relationship.
Do boyfriends (girlfriends) just end up spending a lot of time hanging out at your house?
I give my partner a lot of freedom and do not expect him to be with me 24/7 as I stated I will allow him to sleep/date other men if he chooses to but he has decided to stay committed to me. He actually lives with me so he is at my house every day, but he has his own social life that I do not want to get in the way of.
If so, how do you even find them in the first place?
I met him through a mutual friend.
My apologies for the lack of gender-neutrality in my questions. I guess I was a little too presumptuous and didn't read your initial post close enough. Thanks for the response! Thats absolutely fine.
There's a lot of badmouthing and intolerance going around in this thread. It seems to be stemming from people thinking that you aren't actually taking any steps to overcome your Agoraphobia even though you say that you are. I think Reddit views this akin to someone with depression posting an AMA about how 'life is horrible and I don't want to enjoy it' To show those that are criticising you are trying to overcome your mental illness, what steps have you taken over the past 10 years to beat this? What milestones have you already reached? What milestones have you set for the future? To show those that are criticising you are trying to overcome your mental illness, what steps have you taken over the past 10 years to beat this?
What milestones have you already reached? What milestones have you set for the future?
Is there a family history of it? You mentioned you had a great relationship with your father. Out of curiousity, what was his profession? Hobbies? He worked for Aegis - which is a private security firm which operates in Iraq and Baghdad. He also worked for the United States Government for the army as a contractor. (Yes, I have proof of both of these in the form of ID badges) He also had a strong interest in hiking, and walked the apalachian trail twice in the states which is two thousand miles and takes approximately six months to complete. No there is no family history of agoraphobia in my family.
Wow, wasn't expecting that. What about Mom? She works for the National Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Children. She is currently studying for her PhD, and works with a lot of paedophiles and sex offenders who wish to lead a "normal" life. She also deals with children who were victims of sexual abuse, physical abuse and mental abuse.
I find it hard to believe you have no documentation from the past 3 years in your possession. Sorry but this subreddit does require adequate proof otherwise why should anyone believe your story? Thems just the rules. I have provided the proof that I have, lf that is not adequate enough for your royal highness I apologise.
I'm not sure if you had already answered this, but how do you get groceries? Do you just order take out, or do you have someone get it for you? Same with other things like electronics. Stuff like that. Food: I live with my partner so he does most of our food shopping, but I also do some shopping online through services like ocado.
Electronics: I use Amazon etc, I am able to answer the door etc to receive parcels.
Have you tried drugs? weed, mushrooms, acid? Get your hands of them and see if it can help you with your agoraphobia. You gotta get some sun in your life, man. Have you tried drugs?
No/Yes. I have not tried illegal drugs, but I have been on a lot of prescription drugs which you can get high on :P
Who supplies you with food, and all your other necessities? If you did not leave the house, how do you get them? I live with my partner so often more than not he does the shopping otherwise I can use online shopping services like ocado.
How do you purchase your games. Digital copy, Online or do you get a friend/family member to pick one up from the store. Also, how do you make a living and support yourself? How do you purchase your games. Digital copy, Online or do you get a friend/family member to pick one up from the store.
I purchase online through Amazon.
How do you make a living and support yourself?
I work freelance doing Public Relations.
What is freelance PR? What kind of company uses a freelancer? How did you get started? Freelance - Adjective: Working for different companies at different times rather than being permanently employed by one company.
Public Relations - Noun: The professional maintenance of a favorable public image by an organization or a famous person.
What kind of company uses a freelancer?
I specialise in crisis communication and reputation management so the companies I deal with are those who are facing a crisis and need to save their already tarnished reputation as a lot of companies these days can not afford their own 24/7 public relations department.
Whatre some of your favorite books, games and songs to play? I can play anything really on the violin but I prefer to play classical music.
I like reading about physics, and psychology books.
I am currently playing Diablo 3 + Skyrim.
How is D3? AWESOME!
Do you work in your house, or do you go somewhere? Do you work in your house, or do you go somewhere?
When you went to your fathers' funeral, how long had you been staying inside and what did you feel? When you went to your fathers' funeral, how long had you been staying inside and what did you feel?
For the second question I mean what was it like to have been inside for so long, and to just go outside. I understand the emotions of losing your father. But, going outside for the first time in 8 years has to be scary. I am not going to make out it was an easy experience. I was absolutely terrified and was on more pills than Lindsay Lohan out on a friday night. I guess I am so use to being inside for such a length of time it feels normal to me and I still live a happy life.
Were your parents enablers for this disorder? No. My mother did all she could do to get me to go outside and in the end she paid for me to get professional help as nothing was working. (I personally now pay for all my treatment)
Would you feel safe enough to leave the house in an armored car? It's not about feeling safe for me, it goes a lot deeper than that.
How did you get away with not going outside from that young? Didn't your parents make you? What about school? I have always been home schooled long before I developed agoraphobia. My mothefather at the time were very concerned and had be accessed, and that's when I was diagnosed.
Did they try and make you go outside? Or was it just to strenuous for you all? My father made a few attempts, and thats what caused my first panic attack, and the moment they both realised this was serious.
You said that you haven't been outside since age 11. What was the thing that made you, for lack of a better word, "declare" agoraphobia? I never self-declared it. My mum became concerned I would not leave so in the end a psychologist was called in who diagnosed me with agoraphobia.
HI... Do you have people over? Friends, family? Yes, I have friends who visit me on a weekly basis, and I live just down the road from my mother. My sister lives in Japan, and my brother lives about seven hours away.
Do you enjoy Call of Duty? if so what is your favorite game in the franchise? I've never gotten into the call of duty serious not really a fan of activision games.
Can your anxiety be triggered by Movies/TV/Books/Games which describe or show wide open spaces? No. If It did I would be fucked.
So you take prozac... How does that PROVE you are an AGORAPHOBIC? Fluoxetine or has its most commonly known prozac is used to treat anxiety dissorders along with many other mental disorders. It's the only proof I have unfortunately.
I am well aware of Prozac and it's use. I took Prozac for years.. I am not agoraphobic. That is why i asked. Still respect your post. Message me if you ever need anything Yeh, I was just trying to state that it has a number of uses because a lot of people only know its use in depression.
Hey StuckInside, I've removed your submission from IAmA. Stories about phobias are very common, and should be posted in /MiniBio or /Self. :/ Agoraphobia despite the name is an mental health anxiety disorder... its not a phobia.
Your teeth must be horrifying. :/ I take extremely good care of my teeth, and have no cavities. I am able to receive dental care from home.
You need help. Get it. The world outside is a beautiful place. Its worth the work. The world outside is a dreadful place. Appearances can be deceptive.
Says the guy who doesn't go there. I only have to watch the news and read Reddit to understand the things that go on in the outside world in terms of war, poverty and starvation etc.
The news pretty much ONLY reports on negative, horrible things. If this is your exposure to the outside world, then I suppose I could understand why you wouldn't want to leave your house. It's not realistic at all, though. This is not the reason why I do not want to leave the house, I do not think I made that clear at all.
Spoiler alert: the walls in your house do nothing to protect you from those things. The walls in my house protect me from the things I feel I need protecting from. I am not agoraphobic because of war, poverty and starvation.
Fake. Phobia is about fear, not logic. Your logical explanation of your fear shows this AMA is fake. Agoraphobia is a psychological anxiety disorder not a phobia.
Last updated: 2012-05-22 12:16 UTC Next update: 2012-05-22 18:16 UTC
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